Saturday, July 02, 2016

who am I today

whatever I had today
a 16 years old atul would never see this coming

who knows Noorabiatul Auji Jamaludin 
who once skips school a lot
sleeping beast in class
been called by the disciplinary teacher once a week
the one who didn't get an A for SPM
manage to get into university?

quite an irony I would say..
anyhow~
since my result doesn't good enough
2 years ago,
I'm doing my pre diploma at UiTM Jengka
and guess what
I got 4.00!!!!
like........
could you imagine???

for years I don't even care about my result
all that matters to me that I passed the test
and somehow..
for the first time in my life
I did cry that day

and then I realize why people cry whenever they achieve something good
it's because you have something to prove yourself
because who have something that makes your parents proud of you
because you going through rough time but surprisingly
you FUCKING DID IT

all those efforts worth it
even when people keeps saying that
you are not worthy enough to get into university,
I PROVE THEM WRONG

so,
who am I today?
I'm the one who going to prove that nothing is impossible
doesn't matter who are you then
what's matter is who are you now

abah, if you could ever see what have I become today..


atuljamaludin

Friday, February 06, 2015

what I want

I never gonna be what I wanted to be.
because now, 
what I do is way far than what I passionate
and there is no turning back
I can't just say that 
I hate study Public Administration
I hate study the government
I hate study the theory
I hate dealing with people
I hate being here
I hate the fact that I'm not going to be what I want to be

sometimes,
seeing other's posting their pictures putting that white jacket
my heart is falling

I love study the scientific terms
I love study the our body
I love to study the blood

might be some day in future..
where I'm so giving up study the government,
I going to give up everything,
what ever i achieved
the diploma.

and go to something I passionate
even with a small salary

at least I got that smile
the smile that I'm gonna tell myself that..
you made it!

at least I'm happy on what I do

what I actually wanted to be

atuljamaludin

Saturday, April 19, 2014

you

all those things we have been through in these past 6 months..
I know you're all mine.

yeah, maybe sometimes you quite annoys me,
well that's you
I know you wouldn't act infront of me.
because we shared everything..
I love the way you smile,
your body scent,
I love the way you look at me.

and..

I would want you to know that..
*malu
you're so much meant for me, dear love.

well, I admit..
sometimes *maybe* I could be unpredictable somehow
someone you never thought to be that way,
but believe me..
I need you in every beats of my heart.
in every air I breath..

to be honest,
I never been this way before..
previous love thought me to not hope way too much.
I can't guarantee it, but i know how serious you are with me.

here I am..
smiling infront of my laptop,
writing this post..
at 4 am.

even though I know you dont really understand this.. *hehe
all you need to know is,
no matter how many times I tried to broke up with you,
no matter how mad I am at you,
I never meant it.
I'm totally in love with you.
you make me turned into this way.

I love you.

atuljamaludin